All of us grow up watching and hearing stories of what therapy will or won’t be. We ask ourselves a series of questions as we prepare for our first session; “What will I say?”... “What will they say? And my favorite question of all time; “What the hell was I thinking signing up for this”! Either way, you are never prepared for the first session and to be honest, you really don’t want to be. Because if we were prepared, we orchestrate that session to fold into our dysfunction like a fitted sheet in a linen closet.
As a self-proclaimed control freak and a bit of a perfectionist…okay…okay, an overachieving, emotional, borderline OCD perfectionist…I was ready to steam roll that first appointment in true Erica fashion. You know, say all the right things, do all the right things, tilt my head to the side to reflect thought, lean forward to demonstrate interest. Classic textbook body language to pretend like I really wanted to do this. I was prepared to show up like imitation crab shows up in a seafood dish at red lobster. But to my surprise, when the stars aligned, and the universe had its way …my starring role was cancelled.
We talked about so much, mainly about things I hadn’t prepared my political press statement for. And when the topic of my singleness surfaced, I just knew my therapist would sympathize with my pain. Ha! She empathized, but she read me like a Dick and Jane book from the1930s. It wasn’t about them…it was all about me and not in the way I had expected it to be. We had work to do and before her office door closed behind me, my therapist left me with some parting words; “Erica, in dating, you got to slow walk that thing. It’s all about data collection. Slow walk it my dear, you know like the Tortoise and the Hare.”
So, here we are SLOW walking this dating thing and going to therapy. Y’all, I’m walking so damn slow, I think the tortoise passed me.
Where are you in your journey of dating? Are you slow walking it? Are you content?
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Written by: Erica